Rajasthani weddings are traditionally known for big-ticket spending, and families spending close to Rs 100 crore to get their daughters married is not unheard of. Now, the elders are trying to impress on the community that the enormous sums spent are a waste and the lavish trend leads to pressure being brought on brides' families though they may not have the means to splurge.
In Takhatgarh, Bali, Sadri and other villages in Rajasthan's Pali and Jalor districts, a uniform code of conduct has taken shape for weddings in families that hail from there. Penalties have been spelt out for violation of the rules, and include measures like social boycott and fines of up to Rs 50,000.
For instance, weddings of people who hail from Takhatgarh have to be solemnized only in the village. The rules limit the number of dhol players when the baraat arrives and the number of lights to be used in decorations. The wedding spread too has been downsized, with only two sweets and a basic fare allowed.
While Bali, in Pali district, has allowed weddings in Mumbai, it has limited celebrations to only once during the day. An evening reception after sunset has been banned. Families who host dinner events will be boycotted for three years and families attending it too will be boycotted for a year.
"These practices are very good as they help in controlling the expenses on weddings and also reduce the expectations that the groom's family may have from the bride's family," said Chintmani Jain, a Dadar resident, who says he will follow the rules when his daughter gets married next year.
Mumbai is home to a sizeable population of Marwaris concentrated in areas like Bhuleshwar, CP Tank and Walkeshwar, with interests in diamond, jewellery and textile. Many have diversified into stock markets and government contracts. Ties with their roots remain strong, and families that hail from these villages still abide by the elders' code.
"It's time that people realize that some expenses on weddings are a sheer waste. People have 20 types of sweets in their weddings but no one eats so many sweets. It's a total waste," said Premlata Jain, who hails from Takhatgarh.
While many Rajasthani weddings in Mumbai have been toned down with DJ parties or dandiya nights given the miss, some have found ways to circumvent the restrictions. For example, they invite people for the 'mamera' (usually a small function held by the groom's maternal uncle) and turning it into a dandiya night.
"When our daughter got married in April, we held a reception as it was the last wedding in our family. We knew we would not be invited to any other function in our village. None of the people from our village attended the reception. Only close relatives and people from other villages, who are not bound by these restrictions, attended the event," said Shantilal Jain (name changed), a resident of Byculla.
Resistance, particularly from the well-off, is growing, with some finding loopholes in the rules. Ignoring attempts to put an end to ostentatious weddings by elders of Sadri in Rajasthan's Falna district through norms like having only a small engagement party to which a maximum of 15 family members can be invited followed by one traditional wedding-phera party, a mega marriage function took place in the city recently.
"We tried to enforce the rules, but they fell through when the first wedding itself took place. Most people felt that the rules were unrealistic and weddings in the community have always been synonymous with luxury," said Kishore Jain, owner of Valchandson Jewellers, who hails from Sadri.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/followceleb.cms?alias=Rajasthani weddings,Marwaris,Marwari weddings
Stay updated on the go with The Times of India's mobile apps. Click here to download it for your device.
