But today's 'pati' is changing. If Delhi resident Aarti Wahaal watches 'Mahanagar', she would perhaps see her husband Yateesh in a new light. For this MBA, her telecom consultant husband has been more than a friend and guide in her career.
Her story shatters the image of the traditional husband. It starts with the usual "give-up-your-job-after-childbirth" theme. The couple decided that one of them should take a step back. Then, after playing the role of a full-time mom for three years, the Wahaals decided that Aarti—29 by then—needed to kick-start her career again.
"After putting in so much effort into her studies and a budding career, she had to sacrifice everything. We decided we couldn't let all that go to waste. A successful career is her right," Yateesh says.
Aarti ruled out a 10-to-5 job and preferred one with flexi-timings. They zeroed in on Tata Teleservices. Yateesh, for his part, went beyond being just supportive. "It wouldn't have been possible without my husband helping me with my resume and mock interviews. His experience in telecom consultancy gave me an added advantage and provided a better insight into the sector," Aarti says.
Jannette D'Costa, manager, HR-special projects, Kuoni India, has a similar tale. After a career spanning 15 years, she quit work when her elder son was in Class X. But when he cleared Class XII, her husband began prodding her.
Jannette's husband Clifford says, "Once the situation at home stabilized, especially when the elder son became capable of taking care of the younger one, we thought she should re-join work. And why not? She is qualified and experienced."
A handful in number they may be, but urban Indian husbands are increasingly encouraging their spouses to stitch together their careers again.
India is one of the lowest ranked countries where female participation in the workforce is concerned. Working women account for just 29% of the total—much lower than the over 70% figure for men. Women hold less than a third of the available managerial positions and their participation on corporate boards is just 4%.
This could be changing. And with it, the nature and dynamics of the husband-wife relationship. A psychologist says that wives' perception of their husbands support in pursuing their careers has a positive impact on marital ties. Over the years, a woman's role in the society has undergone significant transformation. Till recently, the husband's support, even if limited to household chores and childrearing, was considered progressive. Slowly, the bar is being set higher.
Lakshmi Menon's husband Harish Nair is seeking entry into this new club. An engineer by training, Lakshmi, 28, quit her professional life after working with companies such as Japanese instrumentation firm Yokogawa India and Emami Paper Mills. It was not marriage that slammed the brakes on her career. It was her techie husband's shift to London and then Stockholm.
"I'm one of those rare women who got full freedom from their husband and inlaws as far as career was concerned," Lakshmi says. "However, shifting out of India and having a child demanded changes. Now since my daughter is not a toddler, my husband has been pushing me to get my mojo back."
It is not just husbands, though. The male mentality itself perhaps is changing. Many women say that, increasingly, their fathers, brothers and uncles are supporting them in their careers. A CFO with a well-known financial services company was assisted by her uncle in her career. A CEO with another finance firm credits her family for nurturing her professional ambitions. The two did not want to be named.
Perhaps it's time for us women to hum the Bette Midler number, "Did you ever know that you're my hero and everything I would like to be? I could fly higher than an eagle, cause you are the wind beneath my wings."
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